We can often assume we know the whole picture when dealing with people. She’s acts like that because she’s this. He acts like that because he’s this.
Case in point. Many years ago, in school, I was hanging out with friends and their friends. There was one particular new guy, we will call him John, who I didn’t know and who was hanging back being a wall flower. The whole night I teased him. “Come on are you shy?” “We don’t bite.” On and on. I didn’t let up because, to me it seemed everyone else was having fun and he was being a party pooper. Well, at the end of the night one of his friends decides to come up to my group of friends and explain. “Hey, go easy on John the anniversary of his best friend killing himself is today.”
I didn’t know what to say. But I took to heart that day forward that you never know what is going on people’s lives. You never now why they are acting they way they are. All you can do is give them the grace of being human.
What do you think? Have any similar experiences? When you look closely at these fabrics what do you see?
If you happen to be in the Nashville area come by and see us! We will be at the convention center from APRIL 12 – 15 and would love to see you there! Who knows, we might be giving some awesome WHO?Bags away. For more info click here http://www.southernshows.com/wna/
This is a continuation of a short series based on a conference the WHO?Women attended. I wanted to share somethings I saw as a result of that conference that changed who we were. The first post was about communication. This one stemmed from a member completing on our team powerfully. By her completion the team, including her, gained these benefits:
1. A feeling of being energized and renewed.
2.Rapidly create your next steps with people quickly agreeing.
3. Knowing that you make a difference and your contribution is valued (who doesn’t forget this?)
What it means to complete powerfully is that someone leaves a project fully acknowledged for their contribution and allowed to say what they need to say to walk away without that little voice saying ” You should have said that”. This is not a venting session. And completion does not mean everybody leave happy, although that does happen often. Completion is an opportunity to clear the muck out of the room so people feel energized. In fact, that is how you know you have successfully completed…you feel energized. But how do you reap the benefits of completion? What are the ingredients for completion? It is a really simple recipe:
1. Commitment to completion – You and your team actually have to want completion to happen. They have to pull for it so when a comment pops in their head like “Well, you never did that. so why are you complaining?” They can choose not to say it and actually move the completion forward. If there is one person who is not willing for this to happen it can be a long and laborious process, which it should not be.
2. Be generous – Yea, you can talk about all the times they drank the last cup of coffee and didn’t make another pot. But what about the times they help solved the problems that kept you up at night.
As a team it is important that we are completely clear and transparent with each other. By doing this, the small stuff doesn’t get in the way. In addition problems are dealt with faster.
What have your experiences been? What would you like them to be?
We often look for ways that people are different from us. We use that as a means of connection. For example, “We both don’t like the way he wears his pants. We are now friends.” By connecting over what separates us versus connecting over what makes us share the same experience. We are actually negating the bigger picture of what makes us us. While the fabric below has differences that make them unique, there is something that ties them all together. Who in your life can you connect with over what you share?
I am moving this week and everything, I mean everything is not going according to plan. So I’ve taken on going with the flow and dancing with the chaos. If my appliances aren’t delivered on the right I pirouette to the left with peanut butter sandwiches. When you feel like things aren’t going to plan what do you do? What would your fabric look like?
The women of WHO attended a business conference last week and had a great time. We were in a space of learning and expanding ourselves becoming bigger than we were and getting excited in the process. However, I just wanted to share three things that became really present to me last weekend. (As a side note, I began writing a lot and so am splitting this post into 2 or 3)
1. Communication with your team will allow anything to be resolved.
During the course of the conference one of our members got in a funk. There was a miscommunication causing a breakdown in the team. This breakdown lasted a whole day affecting our group of women who are working toward a goal.
Your team can consists of any group of people in your life. And breakdowns in that team have ripple effects. You start off arguing with your spouse and you arrive at work still angry. Make sure you have the hard conversations even if you don’t want to. They are the stepping-stones to clear communications, clear relationships, and powerfully moving forward. To have these hard conversations try this:
1. Ask what is they are thinking, not what is wrong. People are trained to say “nothing is wrong”. Get them talking about what is bothering them. We are connected to people on a fundamental level. If you feel something is off it probably is.
2. Remember it is not about you. Sometimes people explode for no reason and you might have taken it personally. Remember it is in reaction to something that is happening internally. So give them the grace to be human. Give them the grace to express themselves before you try to “fix it”. Trust me, it will make a difference.
3. Continue doing you because you never know who is looking. When you are working on your goals and it seems like no one is watching, someone is. This is the age of the internet. If you are out there and sharing you never know who is watching you.
4. Love fully, Share Completely, Trust Wholly. If you ever say you can’t because “something” happened to you, you have limited the heights of your interactions with people and consequently all the beautiful things that happen between people.
How do you deal with breakdowns in communication?