Monthly Archives: June 2012

Romance novels are helpful?

Do you ever swoon like this? Yea, didn’t think so.

Most of us have a  very distinct idea of what romance novels are and the value they provide.

Nil.Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

But after reading this my ideas have been completely changed.

Romance novels and their rise to prominence has had an impact on the views women had and the ability to see life from a different perspective.

Paraphrased,  in 19th century Britain romance novels were scorned by the government because of what they gave women. And what did they give women? Choice , adventure, love of self, and sexual awareness.  These books were an access to possibility of a different life.  A life where women had control and choice to determine how their own life would look.

For women now, is there anything like that? Would it be a blog or something on YouTube? Is there something that allows women to see a different life for themselves? Something that shows a different possibility? I would love to know!

Pssst. What do you think about romance novels? Are you a closet reader?



Filed under Have you?

1, 2, 3 Presto! A Perfect Life.

So, you have noticed the Preventors and all that they do. They pop up pretty often don’t they? The great news is that they will always be there. This is great news because it’s a constant. Just in the way you don’t worry from one second to the next whether your lungs will remember how to inhale and your brain will remember how to avoid hot stoves so to can you similarly forget about the Preventors.  It is enough to notice that it is there.

Your focus should be on making sure you actions are inline with what constitute your perfect life, your commitment. This, I promise, is easier than it might seem.

To expand on that concept let’s say your core commitment in life is to always have a pencil near by. If you have defined that and recognized it as something important to you you next actions are obvious.

English: An array of colored pencils, these pe...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. Go to costco and by 1000 pencils.

2. Store 10 pencils in various locations such as your car, bathroom, kitchen, purse, etc.

3. Buy more pencils.

Each of these  actions naturally flows from “I will always have a pencil.” These actions support and move this committment forward without being complicated.

So let’s look at this another way.

English: The markers in a standard 10-pack of ...

Crayola Markers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Your core commitment is to always have a pencil nearby.

1. Go to costco and by 1000 markers

2. Store these markers in various locations such as your car, bathroom, kitchen, purse, etc.

3. Buy more markers.


This is something we all often do. “I’m going to exercise!” “I want a better relationship!” “I want to find love!” And then we go and eat a bag of chips with mayo on top. Or we bring up for the tenth time why the other person is wrong and we are right. Or we stay inside under the covers and avoid all contact with the public. What’s going on here is a disparity between your core commitment and your actions. Or is it?

Maybe what you think is your core commitment is actually something you tell yourself but not really a commitment. But what you actions are telling you is that your commitment is actually to enjoy food and what life has to offer. You say you want to exercise but maybe you just want others to stop commenting on your weight, your commitment might be to be happy.  You say you want to find love and maybe your commitment is actually to expand your business.

By realizing what your true core commitment is, what drives you forward. You will have power in your actions.

Take a look at your actions this week. See if they support your core commitment or if they are supporting some other commitment. Which is more important to you? What do you see for yourself? Let me know in the comments below.

Leave a comment

Filed under Goals

Steps to the perfect life.

A “perfect life” is a quest for many people. It always involves the idea that something is not right “here”. The idea that if one thing could just change then things would work out. Then things would be easier. Then things would start to look up.  And actually it is that easy. The steps to a perfect life work for most people and are quite easy to follow. They just involve consistent implementation of the steps in every situation in every day of your life.  Well, the steps follow.

1. Not discovered yet.

2. As yet undiscovered, but we are close.

3. We have theories what this one might be.

Clearly the Perfect Life is an elusive pink unicorn. You might think you glimpse it out of the corner of your eye but really, it’s just an elephant dyed red.

But what you can do is look at your life with out all the “shoulds”, “woulds”, and “coulds”.  These are the “Preventors” in life. You should see your life exactly as it is.

I should do this because that’s what good moms have to do.

I could take a break but I have to finish this.

I would go workout but I don’t have the right clothes.

These Preventors stop you from assessing what is at the core of your motivation, your commitment in life.  They make it easy to live life based on assumptions  passed down from others.  And if you notice the Preventors have a sneaky accomplice. “Have” sneaks in making choice for you, obligating you to things the Preventors set up. These two are a powerful combo and thwart you from investigating what would make up your perfect life.

For this week start noticing when the Preventors pop up in your head and whether that coincides (or not as the matter stands) with what’s the commitment in your life.

What’s popped up for you?


Filed under Goals